Suffering

For the last 11 months I've been dealing with constant pain.  Sometimes the pain is annoying and sometimes it takes my breath away.  Sometimes I just want to curl into the fetal position and cry.  I was laying in bed last night in terrible pain...I'm almost at my cracking point.  11 months.  That's a long time.  That's a long time to have seen half a dozen doctors, and have had dozens of tests performed.

In March, I went to Cleveland Clinic.  Mayo wouldn't accept me; said they couldn't further my medical treatment.  Cleveland Clinic....what a joke.  Personally, I think your diagnosis really depends on what department they send you to.  In my case, they sent me to the gastroenterology dept.  Therefore, I must have a gastric problem, right?  Oh, how I disagree..but what do I know?  For two months, so far, I have gone along with these nut jobs.  I have taken the pills they wanted me to take.  Two months on these pills and NO relief.  No progress.  I finally put my foot down and told them it was time to try something else.  But the doctor is just "so sure" of his diagnosis.  "Here, try a different pill."

So, last night I was laying in bed...and nearly let myself fall.... As I said before, I'm almost at my cracking point.  I so badly wanted to give in to my emotions and let myself have a pity party.  I stopped myself last night, but I'm not sure how long I will be able to hold myself together...

At what point do you say "enough is enough"?  At what point do you give up trying to figure this out?  How fair would that be to me, to just give up?  I have tried everything I can to find a diagnosis.  Doctors, tests, research.  I'm not sure there is much more I can do.